the Heart on the right

On one occasion, for example, I [Papaji] heard him tell a visitor that the spiritual Heart-centre was located on the right side of the chest, and that the 'I'-thought arose from that place and subsided there. This did not tally with my own experience of the Heart. On my first visit to the Maharshi, when my Heart opened and flowered, I knew that it was neither inside nor outside the body. Based on my own experience of the Self, I knew that it was not possible to say that the Heart could be limited to or located in the body.

So I joined in the conversation and asked, 'Why do you place the spiritual Heart on the right side of the chest and limit it to that location? There can be no right or left for the Heart because it does not abide inside or outside the body. Why not say it is everywhere? How can you limit the truth to a location inside the body? Would it not be more correct to say that the body is situated in the Heart, rather than the Heart in the body?'

I was quite vigorous and fearless in my questioning because that was the method I had been taught in the army.

The Maharshi gave me an answer which fully satisfied me. Turning to me, he explained that he only spoke in this way to people who still identified themselves with their bodies.

'When I speak of the "I" rising from the right side of the body, from a location on the right side of the chest, the information is for those people who still think they are the body. To these people I say that the Heart is located there. But it is really not quite correct to say that the "I" rises from and merges with the Heart on the right side of the chest. The Heart is another name for Reality and it is neither inside nor outside the body; there can be no in or out for it, since it alone is. I do not mean by Heart any physiological organ or any plexus or anything like that, but so long as one identifies oneself with the body and thinks that one is the body, one is advised to see where in the body the "I"-thought rises and merges again. It must be the Heart at the right side of the chest since every man, of whatever race and religion, and in whatever language he may be saying "I", points to the right side of the chest to indicate himself. This is so all over the world, so that must be the place. And by keenly watching the daily emergence of the "I"-thought on waking, and the subsidence in sleep, one can see that it is in this Heart on the right side.'

~ from Nothing Ever Happened, volume one of Papaji's biography by David Godman

Vasudeva and Vaasudeva

As it was found difficult to return to Skandashram soon after the noon puja to the [Mother's] samadhi, rice, dhal, etc. were carried downhill so that those who did the puja could cook and eat there itself and return to Skandashram in the evening. A small thatched hut was also put up near the samadhi to be used as a kitchen.

Dandapaniswami and Chinnaswami stayed there permanently. As a portion of the provisions was taken by them, those in Skandashram sometimes did not have enough food. As a result, there was dissatisfaction. The murmer of dissatisfaction reached the ears of Vasudeva Sastri, who was looking after the affairs of Skandashram. He wrote a note to Ramanatha Brahmachari thus: "Devotees give not to Vasudeva but to Vaasudeva (meaning not to Mother, but to Sri Bhagavan)." Ramanatha Brahmachari showed the note to Sri Bhagavan.

After reading it, Sri Bhagavan said, "Oh! how could there be Vaasudeva without Vasudeva?" When Vasudeva Sastri heard about Sri Bhagavan's remarks, he decided not to say anything more about the matter.

~ Kunju Swami, Living with the Master

my belief in the truth does not seem to make it my experience

Q: I know that listening to the Guru and believing his words is important. When he says, 'You are the Self. The world is not real," and so on, I can accept that what he says is true, but my belief in the truth of those words does not seem to make it my experience.

Annamalai Swami: You must believe the Guru and you must also believe your own experience because the Guru is not telling you to add another belief to your mind. He is instead telling you to look at your own experience of yourself, and in doing so, disregard everything else.

There is a story that Ram Tirtha used to tell. A man who was a little mad lived in a small village with his wife. His friends liked to tease him and make fun of him because they all thought he was stupid.

One day, one of them said, 'We have some bad news for you. Your wife has become a widow.'

He believed them and started crying out in grief, 'My wife has become a widow! My wife has become a widow!'

Some of the people he passed on the street laughed at him and said, 'Why are you mourning? You are very much alive. How can your wife be a widow if you yourself are alive to complain about it?'

'My closest friends have told me this,' he replied, 'and I trust them. They are very reliable people. If they are saying that my wife has become a widow, it must be true.'

We would think that a man who behaved like this was utterly stupid because he chose to believe the words of others instead of his own experience. But are we any better? We believe, on the basis of indirect information provided by the senses, that we are the body. The experience of 'I am', of the Self, is present in all of us, but when the mischievous senses gang up on us and try to make us believe something that is patently untrue, we believe them and ignore our direct experience.

Then we grieve about our state, lamenting, 'I am bound; I am unenlightened; I am not free'.

And even when the Guru comes along and says, 'You are the Self. You are free. Why do you insist on believing this misinformation that the mischievous senses are giving you?' still you do not believe the truth.

You tell him, "The senses have always given me reliable information in the past. I have learned to trust them. What they tell me must be true.'

And so you go on grieving and complaining, even when your direct experience and the words of the Guru agree with each other and reveal the truth.

~ Annamalai Swami, Final Talks, edited by David Godman

see also: http://end-to-suffering.blogspot.com/2007/05/bhagavan-true-son.html

like a Mother, Our Beloved

The residents of Palakothu used to return to Palakothu from the Ashram every day around 11 am. Sri Bhagavan used to come to Palakothu around 11:30 am, after finishing his lunch. We used to wait for his darshan there. He would come and ask about our welfare like a Mother. We used to be overjoyed at his kind words.

Every day I used to participate in the Tamil parayana done in his presence. There was hardly a day when I didn't talk to him. When the Ashram expanded and visitors increased, there were occasions when I could not speak to Sri Bhagavan. On those days I would deliberately leave out a line while chanting in his presence. Sri Bhagavan would immediately complete it for me. I used to feel happy that he would talk to me.

If I copied something in my notebook, I would deliberately leave out a line. I knew Sri Bhagavan would make the correction in his own hand. I wanted Sri Bhagavan's handwriting to be in my notebook. I have done this several times. I treasure that notebook.

I wanted to paste a picture of Arunachala hill in the notebook. I could not get it. Sri Bhagavan came to know of this and drew a picture of Arunachala. I consider it as an act of Grace. It is this picture that appears in the Mountain Path.

~ Kunjuswami, Living with the Master, Reminiscences by Kunjuswami